Every positive change — every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness — involves a rite of passage. Each time to ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception. ~ Dan Millman

We know this all too well — it is reinforced every day of our lives: living in the here and now is tough; it is fraught with all manner of ill will, negativity, hostility, anger, and hate. There is also love, kindness, and friendship but, of late, these have been somewhat muted due to the will and control of our and many other governments and national leaders.

The imperative for peace and goodwill should remain within us at all times. But our news cycles drum up all sorts of other issues, most worth fretting and sweating a whole lot over. Yet there are many other special moments and experiences that mark our lives, creating a fragile preciousness throughout our lives. We might call them milestones, markers, rites of passage, rituals, celebrations, and commemorations. No matter their framing, these life experiences offer each of us the possibility of holding remembrances of good things and people past as well as hope for the future.

These markers are the times that remind us that life is both of the moment and bigger than the moment. They can make us smile as well as shudder. They bring people together and afford us unique opportunities to engage with various circles of humanity. Most often, these moments do not occur in isolation — most of the time, we are comforted to have family and friends with us when we mark an occasion in our lives.

Sometimes, almost in spite of the exigencies of a point in time, we get to step out of that time and into another one that holds wonder, even sacredness, for all involved. Whether it’s a birthday, a graduation, a job promotion, a marriage or wedding anniversary — in every culture, we find a way to celebrate. Other life passages enable other human feelings to filter through — most involving loss — whether we experience the illness or death of someone close to us, or a divorce, or seeing someone we care about suffer. Wherever these moments are on a continuum from joy and gladness to sorrow and sadness, we are more apt to remember them than the everyday events that comprise the vast majority of our lives.

Even in times of great peril — we’re in the midst of one right now — these life markers help us to create some degree of equanimity by placing immediate focus on something deeply and personally meaningful. For any given ritual or rite of passage, we may not be the one in the center of this circle of attention, but someone we know, love, and support may be. Either way, we get to choose to “step out” of our regular experience to acknowledge something and someone (it may be us!) substantive. My guess here is that everyone reading this has had more than one opportunity to both experience and observe a rite of passage that holds significant memories with clarity of recall.

Often the manifest emotions that derive from these experiences are the same no matter the event. Laughter, tears, even silence may emanate through times of happiness and times of pain. All are expressions that are part and parcel of the human condition, and we can learn to hold all in gratitude and appreciation for the gift of life and opportunity that we are given. We may feel more fully alive and less alone when we are celebrating, or commemorating, something or someone. I believe we are fortunate to be alive in these special moments.

When humanity shares these moments, we may all be uplifted and moved. We are in a season when days are dedicated to upholding aspirational and inspirational events — graduations, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Juneteenth, Fourth of July — all come to mind. It is a shared sense of purpose that makes them stand out. So it is, as well, with other days, such as No King’s Day, protests, marches, boycotts. Our ability and curiosity to want to engage and connect with others matters.

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Rites and rituals open hearts and clear minds. They help us to embody reverence and allow us to get in touch with our emotions and desires. They provide safe ways to make change. ~ Ahriana Platten

In times of fear, terror, along with a pervasive sense of discontent and disconnectedness, we are all the better for those moments where a sincere and caring reach-out may momentarily break our sense of isolation and suffering. Humans have organized and socialized around our individual and collective life-markers to provide solace, comfort, and joy. Without them, we would feel a bit more lost and cast adrift under the avalanche of hurt and pain we see and feel all around us. We are blessed to have life opportunities and experiences to uphold the sanctity of life in all its iterations.

Daniel Cantor Yalowitz writes a regular column in the Recorder. A developmental and intercultural psychologist, he has facilitated change in many organizations and communities around the world. His two most recent books are “Journeying with Your Archetypes” and “Reflections on the Nature of Friendship.” Reach out to him at danielcyalowitz@gmail.com.